The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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