I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
