i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
