Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Don't tell me you're on acid again
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
