gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Randomize
