Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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