My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
