i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Success! We fucked roommates!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
