haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
