I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
