Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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