i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
