i barfeds in our rink
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
