He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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