Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
