My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
