whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
