No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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