theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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