Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
