she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
