six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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