she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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