that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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