YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
