i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
