I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Randomize
