Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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