Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My day in three words: secret purse cake
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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