I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
