Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
