We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
