i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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