wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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