Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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