How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
