oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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