I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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