just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
