my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
