Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
