she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
