You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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