Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
