Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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