how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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