We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
