If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
