That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
