now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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